Goodnight My Darling Apple
The darkest of days, I have lost my Beautiful Funny, Quirky and Comical Apple. She made me love and laugh constantly. One of a kind ….
All dogs are so special but losing her this morning was so strange and makes me feel there are just some things that can never be rationally explained
She was very ill for about four days, thought I would lose her then. She was lethargic, couldn’t stand, sick, blood in urine and very poorly indeed. The Vet treated with with inflammatory and antibiotics. No improvement so scans and X-rays were done showing a kidney tumour. Vet thought just days so decided to bring her home and booked her in 2 days later to say a final goodbye after having some quality time with her.
Then the strangest thing happened. She perked up to her normal self, eating, playing, tummy rubs and like she had never been ill. She has slept next to my head for the last 11 years and last night was just the same. She gave me her goodnight licks and fell asleep next to me. She was so like her usual self I seriously questioned if Monday was too soon to say goodbye.
At 5.15 she woke me licking my face and nuzzling me, I snuggled up and cuddled her and fell asleep for another 20 minutes or so. When I woke still,holding her she had died in her sleep still in my arms and me holding her paw.
I can’t believe how this came about when she was so apparently normal to just leaving me. I am not a believer but can’t help but feel she was somehow saying Goodbye and giving me the best gift she could. I didn’t have to make that difficult decision, she died in my arms and the last hours we spent together were good ones. When the pain eases, I can take comfort in how she said Goodbye to me.
My vet says it’s very rare a dog dies so peacefully and so sudden. While so grateful it happened this way I am just struggling to reason why this should be. I feel that strange forces and her bond with me somehow played a part in all this and once the grieving process eases I will just remember those last happy hours. As I said I am not a believer in strange forces but have a weird feeling about it all. God Bless you my Darling Velcro dog who in 11 years was never far from my side. My bedroom and office are empty as thats where we spent most of our times. Thank you for your last beautiful gift to me, you were one of a kind.
We will meet again one day, I just know it…..💔💔